A Coaching Model Created by Nasos Fotopoulos
(Life Coach, GREECE)
There are a lot of things that can provide inspiration – seeing other people accomplish great things, seeing other people overcome very big obstacles, hearing inspirational quotes from great people, even the pure beauty of nature can remind us just how lucky we are to be alive. Having a positive outlook on life is a crucial part of finding inspiration. Having a positive outlook on life will bring us joy and provide us with inspiration when we least expect it.
Inspiration is the feeling that makes us chase our dreams, it is the state of mind where anything is possible, where everything is clear and there are countless possibilities. Finding inspiring things such as amazing ideas, extraordinary people or just the nature around us, having that inspiration breathed into us, make taking action an easy step for us.
The deep meaning of inspiration, in my perspective, is to recognize the amazing potential that life has to offer us. When we perceive the power of inspiration we are ready to make our dreams come true. Here is the “Inspiration Coaching Model” and how can this inspire us:
Identity of Self
Navigating the emotions
Power & Will
Time planning & time management
Outcome – reviewing and analyzing it
Identity of Self (Who am I?)
Who am I? It’s very important for us to gain the awareness of who we are, who we are at our core self. Core self is the deep part within us, is our essence. Our essence is our identity of self, is the awareness of our personal attributes, skills, abilities, strengths, weaknesses, boundaries (what we accept in behavior from and towards ourselves and our ability to say yes or no to situations), world view (a set of rules and guidelines that we have unconsciously adopted from our life experiences).
When we have a clearly defined world view, where our rules are known to us, we can create boundaries around ourselves, so as to make decisions based on our boundaries, which increases our self-esteem and makes us stronger and more confident about who we really are. Our boundaries protect us from any attempts of others to manipulate or control us. As coaches, we can support our client in their exploration journey and in the process of getting to know who they are, as well as how to become aware of their responsibility to safeguard their boundaries, their world view and their true self. By creating a safe space, by being active listeners, attentive and present in the moment, we can support them to find out their own truth within them, what they really want and how to get it.
We can ask our client:
- Who are you?
- Are you aware of your boundaries?
- How important is for you to have guidelines and rules in your life?
Navigating the emotions (Emotional Control)
Many times we are struggling with weak Emotional Control, the second skill of Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is the ability to identify and manage our own emotions and the emotions of others. Emotional control has to do with our ability to manage anger, hurt and fear; it allows us to self-regulate, tone down our frustrations, cool off after a conflict, and keep things in perspective. People with low emotional control tend to take things too personally, obsess over insignificant upsets, overheat themselves and stay stuck in personal complaints and misery. They usually end up hurting themselves quite a bit while the target of their distress is usually not even aware of what is going on! Navigating or controlling our emotions doesn’t mean ignoring them. It means learning to regulate them and respond to them in healthy and helpful ways.
There are a lot of methods we can use to become better at controlling our emotions. One of them is by being conscious of our emotions at every given moment (stop and re-focus, take charge of your breathing, try progressive muscle relaxation, use visualization techniques). Another method is by reflecting on our feelings (identify our feelings, learn to distinguish primary and secondary emotions, keep a journal, consider our perspective, challenge irrational assumptions about ourself, challenge negative core beliefs about ourself). As coaches, we can support our client to be open to understand and accept their emotions firstly and then to gain awareness about their underlying beliefs, their values and what exactly trigger them. We can support them by being present, listen, paraphrase, observe, asking powerful questions, giving positive feedback, being sensitive from a space of trust and non-judgment, to regulate their emotions, to gain control and to become a Navigator of their emotions.
We can ask our client:
- How important is for you to navigate or control your emotions?
- What options do you have to overcome your negative feelings?
- In your perspective something frustrating happened and you felt very upset. If you knew that this day is your last day, your reaction would be exactly the same?
Self-love/Self-acceptance (how important is to love & accept ourself in order to love & accept others and to have balance in our life)
In my perspective self-acceptance is the ability to love ourself unconditionally, no matter what flaws and traits we have. I believe that everything in our lives is directly affected by how much we love ourselves. If we do, then we have the energy and will to give love to other people and we lead a balanced life. When we don’t have balance we feel overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, sad, depressed and sometimes we feel empty. So how can we actually love ourselves? There are a few practices/ways of self-love we can incorporate, such as accept our feelings, choose not to be judgmental, choose to think and feel positively, recognize the problem and remind ourself that everything passes.
Self-love means that we are aware of all the things we are good at, that we are grateful for the little things in our life, that we listen to and respect our inner little voice. As coaches, we can support our client to find answers to all the questions they have about how they can love their selves. Also we can help them to exercise some practices in order to accept and love their selves, to improve their self-esteem, communication and relationships. We can reinforce them by acknowledging and appreciating their effort. We can respect their feelings and encourage them to explore their reactions and their behaviors. We can ask questions in order to help them to expand or shift their perspective.
We can ask them:
- What do you want to change NOW?
- What can you do in order to strengthen self-love and self-acceptance?
- When you deeply accept yourself, what opportunities are opening in front of you?
Power & Will (to make our dreams come true)
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. – Mahatma Gandhi.
The power and the will, or in one word the willpower, is a true source of strength that we can strengthen and maintain. The people that learn how they can develop it, they gain a very important knowledge, how to do and become anything they want.
We can reinforce our willpower when:
- we clarify what it is we truly want
- we believe in our abilities and strengths
- We resolve the problems instead of quitting
- We undertake our responsibilities
- We are getting out of our comfort zone
As coaches, we can help our client to gain clarity regarding their strengths and abilities. We can stand by them and encourage them to discover what they truly want and to make a shift in their perspective, from what prevent and inactivate them to what strengthen their willpower, so as to accomplish whatever they want. By being totally present, by active listening, observation, paraphrasing, mirroring back to our client and making powerful questions, we can support them to obtain clarity regarding the wishes, the desires and the goals that they really want.
We can ask our client:
- What blocks your willpower even in cases you believe you really want something?
- What was your biggest willpower challenge and how did you overcome it?
- What is your key factor in willpower success?
Intention (the starting point of every dream)
Intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whatever they are, money, great relationships or personal grow. We may have the best intention of being an excellent coach, but if we don’t commit, if we don’t be focused, if we don’t have discipline, we will not be remembered as an excellent coach. Everything that happens in the universe begins with intention. The wise people from India observed, thousands of years ago, that our destiny is ultimately shaped by our deepest intentions and desires.
The classic Vedic text known as the Upanishads declares,
You are what your deepest desire is. As your desire is, so is your intention. As your intention is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny.
As coaches we can support our client in exploring and connecting with their values, vision and their purpose. We can support them to clarify their intentions which will help them to become more focused and effective in building the results they really want. We can help them to set their intention (to set an intention is different than to have an intention). To set an intention is to act in order to make sure that the wanted outcome will be achieved.
We can ask our client:
- Are you clear about your intentions?
- How can you be sure that the power of intention leads your dreams?
- How are you feeling if there isn’t any intention in your life anymore?