A Coaching Model Created by Khoo Yeelek
(Transformational Coach, CHINA)
The learning process is something you can incite, literally incite, like a riot. – Audre Lorde
Why “INCITE” you ask?
Who exactly seek out a coach? Winners who want even more out of life.– Chicago Tribune
My INCITE graphic below clearly shows that existence of a tree does not independently rely only on the root or the trunk or the branches and leaves alone. They all co-depend on each other and the potential of a tree depends on how well all these function as “one”. As you may also know, the nourishments and foods may come from the root and leave respectively but it is the trunk the holds on to the longevity of the tree.
each year, new growth adds wood to the trunk of the tree, as the tree grows outward and upwards.
The same principle applies to our life, how very often in the chase for “nourishment’s and foods” which mainly coming from the outside, we have forgotten about the inside, our core and lost the balance. It is our core that builds and holds on to the longevity of our life. Without the right balance, no matter how flourish the environment is to you, you will still be faced with instability and deep inside, you will still be starved and malnourished when there is a disconnect between the root and the crown. It is because of this disconnection that growth become stagnant.
That is why, we get to a stage where, we are what we are but we do not or could not fully grasp our existence. We often ask;
- What am I doing? Why am here? Is this truly what I want?
- Have I reached my full potential? What is still lacking?
- Why do I still feel empty? Haven’t I got everything?
- How come I still do not feel entirely happy?
- What is enough?
INCITE model is designed to provide a framework for us to work on integrating all these aspects holistically. It works on exploring your potential in a holistic manner where we go step-by-step to cover the dimension of mind, emotion, physical and spiritual but the key is to discover INSIGHTS at every stage.
to manifest your true potential
My principle as a coach from a very fundamental level is to provide my Client a safe space, a trusting relationship and my absolute presence. Client can be assured that they will be given the freedom to explore, experiment and reflect at every stage.
The mind, as symbolize by the root of the tree is the foundation of it all. As you may know, the 4 main functions of the root are to provide anchorage, storage, absorption and conduction. The same principle applies to our mind. We need to have strong and solid mind to anchor, an open mind to store, a clear mind to absorb and a healthy mind for intelligence.
In life, many of our experiences take place in our head such as beliefs, perception, memories, interpretation, imagination, speculation, etc and if we want to change something in our life, it will be best begin with the mind.
As intention should be the start of every thing that we do, this is a critical stage to start the coaching journey. This is where we will explore the very meaning of why a Client is embarking on a coaching relationship. And more importantly, how and what would the Client expect out of this journey. This does not have to be just limited to the destination end point. It can / should also cover the experiences or learning that one intent to gathered along the way. As a coach,
is my believe that Client will know what they want, although they might not be able to see the detail at the start. Therefore, we should allow enough room for flexibility to adjust whenever necessary as long as we are clear of the intention.
The focus at this stage is to be as succinct as possible and there should be an alignment of understanding between the Coach and the Client because this would be used as the compass to navigate in the subsequent stages.
There may be occasions where questions or challenges from the coach will arise regarding Client’s past learning, perception or believes to gain further clarity but it should be understood that the Client is the captain of the ship.
As in any coaching relationship, we believe all Clients are creative and unique in their own ways; therefore it is entirely up to Client how they prefer to express their intention and goals as long Client agreed that it is realistic, measurable and actionable.
Potential tools: to be used at this stage could be SMART assessment or based on past learning or experiences of the Client.
- Where do you think you are at the moment?
- Where are you in relation to current circumstances?
- What do you think is missing?
- How different is it now compare to what you would like to envision for yourself?
- What would you like to achieve?
Navigation start from within, only with clarity of oneself, we are able to strategies the direction that we will be embarking. We are still in the level of “mind”. At this stage, it is more important to explore what Client already had in the mind first, by withholding any form of judgment. Client is required to have complete openness so that we will be able to mine insights from his/ her already developed perceptions, beliefs or underlying beliefs and learning or growing curve.
This will involves reflecting on Client’s attitude and action or reaction towards his/her environment (past or present), people, events or even predicament that has happened. At this stage, one of the key thing that will happen is the coach will reflect or mirror back to Client what is being expressed and heard, including the energy felt during the session. In summary, this is to define how Client see the life that he/she is living and with the insights gathered, how would Client like to take this forward.
Once Client is able to gain clarity, we will work together to develop strategies that cover areas such as identifying learning method, establishing the focus point, building a strong support system etc.
Potential tools: Perception Vs Truth, Commitment Vs Trying, Trust Vs Doubt, Underlying Belief Closets etc.
- What can you learn from your past experiences?
- Where do you wish to go? How do you plan to go there?
- What is holding you back?
- What do you think need to take place to move you forward?
- What is your current support system and how would you like to expand it?
- What is your learning style?
In my visual, the trunk or stem of the tree supports the crown and gives the tree its shape and strength. The trunk is the connection between the root and the crown and if there is any malfunction, it will slow down the growth potential or affect the entire survival of the tree.
This TRUNK, to be reflected as human condition is where our physical being and emotional intelligence are being centered. Our strengths and how we are being shaped are very much depended on it because here is where they play an important role in unleashing the full potential of our human crown. If we do not put enough emphasis in monitoring our physical being and our emotion intelligence, then we are denying the very original nature of ourselves to reach full potential. That is why, our emphasis on the next two levels are
“Core” and “Intelligence”.
The “core”, which frequently being defined as the central, innermost, or most essential part of anything is exactly who we are. At this stage, we will continue to generate more insights about you, the Clients. Client’s trust and openness is particularly essential at this stage because with trust in the process, we will start examining your dreams, hopes, needs, desire, fantasies etc. And it is with the process and your own creativity and imagination that we will be able to uncovered insights about your strengths, values and most importantly, your purpose. Here is also the opportunity for us to explore deeper by engaging with your heart, putting aside status quo, judgment and ego and truly listen from that space.
Once Client is able to identify the insights within his/her values and strengths, Client’s mind will be open up to much possibilities, positivity and confident. This is the time where we should leverage on that energy level and start charting the areas of your potential and how you could focus on what you do best, which is your Talent!
You already are everything you have always wanted to become. You simply need to do the inner work require to remove the blocks that have been covering – and denying – your original nature.– Robin Sharma – Discover your destiny
Potential tools: Visualization, Strength Finder 2.1,
- Who is your role model?
- What do value or admire about role model?
- What are the commonalities or theme of successes that you had in the past?
- How do you usually overcome obstacle in life and how did it make you feel once you overcome it?
- What are the strengths that you think you apply in your life most often?
- What is it that makes you happy and how do you link it to your beliefs or values in life?
We are all gifted with intelligence, but in the coaching process, it is not the level of intelligence that we will be discussing but more on the “how” have the Client been using such intelligence and how could we find a way to ensure such intelligence is serving the Client to reach the highest potential or to be their personal best. With consideration of his/her values, the aim is to identify insights that help to hone the skill in using the intelligence in appreciating and responding to situations.
As a coach, I invite clients to take time to engage in powerful reflection particularly in this area. This is to further engage Client to know more about him/herself, especially on the ability to make the connection between the heart, the mind, the soul and the ego. We will also examine the balance between the feeling and thinking and the balance between appreciation and reaction. The insights gathered from here is vital to the success of this journey because it gives more clarity on how Client will take on coming challenges in life and how to sustain a healthy interaction and relationship with him/herself and others.
Potential tools: Emotional Intelligence / CBT / Reacting Vs Responding
- How do you see yourself in the area of emotional intelligence?
- What is your perception of people who are has high EQ?
- Is there any particular person or role model that you can identify with high EQ?
- How do you see connection between heart, soul, mind and ego?
- "What do you want people to remember about how you handled this situation?"
As the saying goes, a healthy mind without a healthy body reflects no integrity. There is no wholeness there.
As much as it is habitual for most of us to bypass the physical aspect of our life, it doesn’t mean the physical intelligence stop re-acting and reflecting on our behalf with the language of the body. The point is the body speaks to us all the time. It will tell us clearly when to eat, what to avoid, when to sleep, when to move on, when to remove yourself from a situation, when to speak up, when to stay silent….
So at this stage, I will also invite Client to tune into the language of the body, his/her physical intelligence and explore any potential that this will compliment or be part of the overall journey that Client has set to embark in a more holistic manners.
Without the wisdom of our body, any decision is only partial.- unknown
- What would you do more in taking care of your body?
- How to you perceive physical intelligence in the overall scheme of things?
- Coming back to your role model, what are the things that they do with their physical intelligence for sustainability?
- How do you want to build physical intelligence into your plan?
“A dominant tree crown reaches over all other plants in the forest, including the crowns of other trees. This crown helps the tree catch the more direct sunlight than any other crown by pushing its branches and leaves not only upward but also outward, ensuring that as many leaves as possible have access to direct sunlight. Trees with a dominant tree crown feature a strong central trunk and a pyramid-shaped crown with branches that grow outward rather than upward.”
This is your potential! Once you have the full insights about yourself, your potential is limitless just as the dominant tree crown, and it is up to you to branch out to absorb all the brilliance of the sunlight and energy around you.
When you start to branch out, you will start noticing subtle changes in the way you perceive, react or consume things. You may not understand or even able to articulate it clearly but you are experiencing it anyway. Think of this phase as the bridge between the old and the new; in some ways, you will still be attached to the old, while you are also trying to adapt to the new.
Client is at a stage of transition and change is happening. The importance is for Client to recognize the these changes happen because he/she wants it, is internal rather than external, it is what happen in Client’s mind and emotion while on this journey. Remember, every steps are related and connected? Client is now fully experiencing what we have established from day one. This transition can happen in it own pace and usually occurs quite slowly.
Usually Client will start experiencing resistance or emotional upheaval involuntarily because he/she is at the stage of letting go something that he/she is comfortable with and enter to a new unfamiliar territory. Client might even be confused, uncertain or impatient.
My job as a coach is to support the Client in reflecting on these feelings and emotion and generate appropriate respond to it . We will create the space, time and the right tool to maneuver in this new territory. The emphasis here is internal, therefore it is critical to remind Client that his/her values, strengths, skills, knowledge and experiences are essential in getting them through. More importantly, we have to constantly refer back to Client’s purpose and checking on what really matters with regard to the purpose.
This is also a stage of great creativity, innovation and renewal and it is a great beginning to think differently, perceive differently and act or react differently. Off course this will require lots of practice and therefore reflection, awareness and acknowledgement are key to this stage. Along the way, adjustment will be made, successes and mistakes will be acknowledged, learned and celebrated.
Potential tools: Bridges Transition Model, Meditation
- How do you align what you are feeling to your values and your purpose?
- What is happening here that is not in alignment with what you have set up for this journey?
- What is your fear about?
- What would it look like to reframe this perspective?
- How can you recognize what you are feeling is internal and not external?
- What can you acknowledge and celebrate so far?
At this stage, it is not just about what you want to happen, but you need to allow what needs to happen. It is a time of acceptance and energy. With all the self-actualization, Client needs to trust in the changes that will be unfolded naturally.
Pause and appreciate is a powerful tool. I’ll engage Client with on going reflection with much more mindfulness and awareness. Suggestions on mindfulness practice such as meditation or breathing exercise will be introduced and Client is giving the option to consider or participate. These practices are meant to help Client to stay focus and center holistically, to be still, to listen and to trust “in the flow”.
Client will slowly be much more aware and will begin to embrace the change initiative. He or she is experiencing positivity and empowerment in the new way, and starting to see and feel early wins from this high energy. When Client is in this state of mind, we will practice more gratitude exercises because it is believe that this exercises will lead to increased levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy.
Potential tools: Daily Gratitude Exercise, Mindfulness Exercise
- What do you need to do to “accept”?
- What are the risk of accepting?
- What is the energy telling you?
- What would you like to contribute back to the universe?
- What is co-creating here?
I stand in the belief that every human being matters, makes a difference, is a unique contribution and is authentically magnificent. I have witnessed individuals taking on their lives fully once they understand and accept their greatness, and what’s possible for them.