A Coaching Model Created by Kelly London
(Life Coach, UNITED STATES)
Did you wake up one day and say “Man; this is not what I signed up for, how did I end up here? I never thought my life would be like this, and I DON’T like it”!
You’re not alone; millions of us have had that very same moment. Mine came somewhere in 2004. I was on the fast track excelling in my career. After my AHA moment, it took me 5 more years to change my life. I was making great money, I was in a specialized industry, and getting out was hard. I didn’t know about coaching back then, or I would have gotten one to help expedite the process. I, like most people have been conditioned to believe that to be a successful, competent human being you must have a good job, a title, a nice house, a nice car and all the trappings that go with that. People won’t respect you, your family won’t be proud of you, and your self esteem will be non existent if you don’t. I had all that, but I was miserable. I vowed, that I would live in a cardboard box under a bridge if I had to, but dang it I was going to be happy!
My journey shifted into high gear in 2010 when I was laid off for the 5th time in as many years. My immediate response was to spend a lot of time job hunting, and trying to find that perfect job or even just the next job. I tried hard to get out of the industry that I was in. Not only could I not find a job that wasn’t in my industry, I couldn’t find on in my industry. Back in those days, a job posting was getting an average of 500 resumes. No that’s not a typo 500. I did a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out who I was, what I stood for and what I wanted. I also watched a lot of baseball, but that’s another story. The model below illustrates the process that I followed that took me from going through the shallow meaningless motions of surviving, to feeling, tasting, breathing again. I have discovered it was my life’s calling to help you figure out yours. To help you get back on track and to figure out what your inner map or GPS if you will is saying. To help you stop putting that voice on mute and to listen and get back on the route you were meant to be following. You know what it is, your GPS tells you, but you’ve stopped listening. Let’s pull out that internal map and re-examine it.
G is for Goals (planning)
First, we’ll start with the easy stuff and spend a few moments on the negative aspects of your life. What you don’t like and what isn’t working for you. Let’s write them down, and own them. Then we are going to list your perceived weaknesses, and own those. Sounds easy, right? After all it’s human nature to focus on the negative. Here comes the challenging part, we will let them go. Then we are going to turn on your GPS system, we will explore your thoughts, wants and desires. We will rekindle your passions and or find new ones. We will map out the road trip that will take you to a new and magical life centered on those very values and passions. We take those negative aspects and shine a positive light on them, as well as your perceived weakness’ and turn them into strengths. Bruce Lee considered the greatest martial artist ever was 5’7 and 135 pounds. John Lennon of The Beatles was prolific song writer; and dyslexic. Sir Elton John the flamboyant English entertainer is an introvert. The list goes on and on of people who excelled and overcame incredible odds, by turning what is perceived as a weakness or a flaw an incredible strength. Any weakness can become a strength. One of my favorite quotes and something I do my best to live by is “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” by Max Planck. There are several exercises both visual and written that we can do to help you change your perspective, or “reframe” the way you perceive things.
Second we will take action (coaching is all about action and moving forward) and throw this new way of thinking and behaving into drive. As you act on your new ideas and beliefs and make changes to your life, you will stretch and grow. This may or may not be a comfortable time period. It could involve various things, changing how and with whom you interact with, changing jobs, maybe even moving. You will feel some insecurity, and discomfort as you set out on this direction towards your authentic self. During this time of directional correction, it is possible you will feel emotional turmoil, confusion and a great deal of pressure (both internal and external) to stay on the same boring route and to challenge your new belief system. At the same time, you will feel an overwhelming sense of relief and confidence. You will be excited to see what is around the next curve or take in the view at the top of the next hill. This is where we continue to work on how we process, acknowledge, and rebuke these pressures. I compare them to advertising billboards that entice you to take the next exit ramp to buy something that isn’t good for you. There will be some exit ramps that we will take though, because what is a road trip without some sight seeing, discovery, and exploration? You may find new ideas or thoughts that you want to explore, and come back to the highway knowing that you saw them took some pictures, but they are not part of the scenery at your destination.
S is for Success (you have reached your destination)
Third we will celebrate each and every time you find another piece of you. Every time you have an “AHA” moment, we will celebrate. Every time you stay on the road to your final destination of living a life that is true to you and yourself; every time you don’t make a u-turn and head back to that comfort zone of the old, familiar, and unhappy bumper to bumper going nowhere commute that you were on. When you reach a new goal, we will celebrate that, and we will celebrate the setting of a new goal to attain, a new aspiration, a new dream to fulfill. We will focus on your wins both large and small, but we will never lose focus of the biggest goal of happiness. We will celebrate the wins, and continuously realign your goals as you change and discover what really is your true authentic self.
As we embark on this adventure together keep in mind this is not about the final destination. The final destination is the end of life. The destination we will reach is a consistent state of being, a way of living and traveling that is true to yourself allowing you to be the best version you. You lights always shining brightly illuminating the road ahead. Enjoy the drive.